Grey Rainbow
It's time to take a deep breath and consider how to review what's the best - and my favourite - BL drama I've seen so far, the Thai short serial Grey Rainbow. It's apparently hard for most reviewers to be objective about it, it provokes both intense love and deep abiding dislike. I'll do my best, but I doubt I'll be the one who manages to resist subjectivity.
SPOILERS WARNING: This review goes into a lot of detail about the narrative of Grey Rainbow including some specific plot points and dialogue. It looks more closely at general themes, however there are some specific details about the epilogue. It does not give away important revelations about the climactic ending. Do not read this review if you don't want any clues at all about what the story entails.
Summary: Roommates Porsche and Nuer have been attending university in Chiang Mai for four years, and are best friends. Porsche thinks he might be gay but is overcome by self-loathing and tries to repress the idea. He nurses an intense unspoken love for the generous and kind-hearted Nuer but doesn't want to risk their friendship by confessing. He's deeply anxious about his upcoming separation from Nuer after graduation, as the boys would then return to their families in different parts of Thailand. He looks after Nuer as often as he can and tries to play a greater part in his life, most noticeably by joining him at muay thai practice. Nuer appears to be mostly oblivious to Porsche's efforts and is dating a fellow student Jane. The boys, however, eventually become inseparable and rely on each other for everything. Studies soon consume their lives. Porsche's thesis choice of LGBT law in Thailand is not for the reasons he ostensibly suggests, but to help him work through his own difficulties with accepting his sexuality. The boys also do what they can to help out Jane with her upcoming play "Madame Butterfly". When a horrific crime occurs, Nuer steps up and attends to Porsche through all the trauma. A visit to Jane's hometown Lampang ends in violence, bitter recriminations and accusations, forcing Nuer to confront and re-evaluate all his certainties. Porsche's total conviction about his love for Nuer leads him to quit his law studies after graduation - which angers his lawyer father to the point of apoplexy - and follow Nuer to his family home at an elephant camp in the country. The final stages of the drama are all set at the idyllic elephant camp with Nuer and his family, where the boys must face what they mean to each other and consider their future.
I cannot overstate how deeply affecting and moving this drama is. The narrative starts on a gentle slow-burn in the Chiang Mai university episodes, looking for all the world like any other typical BL drama. By the time we reach the cataclysmic Lampang scenes and move into episode three, it's as if we're in another show. There's a switch in perspective from Porsche to Nuer at a critical moment, and then to both of theirs at once for the rest of the series. Characterisations deepen. Themes from the Chiang Mai episodes are expanded and given considerably more pathos and weight. Plot points succeed with the sort of emotional payoff that other BL shows can only dream about. (Witness the almost unbearably romantic paper plane scene. Utterly magical and peerless. Also, the Mirror Game scene. The ruler scene. The scene in the field of yellow flowers. The list goes on and on. How can one series have so much beauty and romance?) The boys' hesitant self-doubt transforms into such certitude and a mature steadfastness of purpose that the other characters - and the audience - can only marvel at and respect them.
The unstoppable force propelling this change is Porsche's yearning love for Nuer. And oh, what yearning! It's so powerful and so present that it eclipses everything else going on around him. It's our constant companion through Grey Rainbow, and it only ever gets stronger. It's a commonplace BL trait, but there's seriously no other depiction of yearning in a BL drama that I've seen that comes anywhere close to matching Porsche's all-consuming desire for Nuer. It's the foundation of the drama and a joy to watch.
Next to all this romance and towering emotion in the latter half of the series, you'd expect just about everything else to fade into the background. And, to a certain extent, it does. All the events in the earlier episodes in Chiang Mai become more or less irrelevant. There's a subplot involving a reappearance by Jane that is very finely conceived, not least because it demonstrates Nuer's moral compass better than any exposition could. How Jane is dealt with towards the end of the series is far less satisfactory, though, and a huge plot hole. A legal stouch involving Porsche and a neighbour is pointless and unsuccessful, I'm not sure what the writers were aiming to achieve with it. There is, however, a number of hilarious scenes with Nuer's family's housekeeper Kamphun that are the funniest in the whole series. All the scenes with various family members, especially Nuer's parents, are very well managed and full of feeling - which is fortunate, because they make up the bulk of the third episode. The overt references to Thai LGBT rights lend the series some valuable political punch that reverberates beautifully through the final episodes. (Porsche's rebuke to a student asking if he is gay is extraordinary.) Certain scenes with monks giving advice to Nuer's family and to Porsche contribute some of the most humane writing of the entire series. Try not to burst into tears (as I did) when you hear a monk tell Nuer's parents, "Suffering. If you don't insist on carrying it, it will fall down right before you." It's extremely rare for a BL drama to have this level of realism and humanism.
Throughout all these events in the last two episodes, and most especially in the final fourth episode, the writers generally keep the tone understated, restrained and gentle - unlike me in this review, sigh. The boys evolve and gain confidence but they remain, on the whole, sensitive and respectful. Buddhist values and philosophy temper what could have ended up being a overwrought slanging match of parental heavy-handedness and filial rebelliousness (of which there's already just the right amount). The sense of how the boys have matured may be epic in scale, but watching them move forward into the future together gives more of a feeling of zen simplicity and moral plenitude. It's quite an achievement.
It's odd but I get a sense that there was more than one screenwriter working on this series - one of them is talented with a fine eye and ear for good romantic melodrama that tends towards the realistic and the epic, the other is a lazy hack with no interest beyond rehashing clichés and writing the offensively banal filler that's typical of BL.
There's a terrible infuriating scene where, at the worst possible moment, someone dresses up in drag. Even worse, they then go to a temple in drag. It's played to lighten the mood, but it's appallingly timed, and works against one of the characters when they make a very important announcement.
And then there's the ending itself.
Everything you have probably read by now about the ending of Grey Rainbow is true. It's abominable. It aims for complete destruction and as such it's utterly incomprehensible. I might eventually be able to forgive the writers for what occurs, but not when and how it occurs. Ever. I wouldn't recommend that you avoid it simply because it's that bad though. Some viewers suggest ignoring the fourth episode altogether and stopping at the end of episode three. Or instead watching one of the many alternate edits of the fourth episode available online. I can see why they say that, but I think you should still watch the full episode four and judge for yourself. The absolute best of the series is in episode four, despite it also having the worst; you simply can't miss it. Note my words carefully though! You have been warned.
HOWEVER!
If we weren't given the awful climactic ending, we wouldn't have had the very impressive final ten-minute epilogue of the series - which is intensely painful and extraordinarily beautiful all at once. The boys look at some photos of memorable life moments, frozen in time, and remark on how the people and emotions captured in the photos will never change, whereas life has carried everyone in them forward into a very different, altered present. On a mountainside scenic lookout, overlooking Chiang Mai enfolded in an otherworldly haze, a number of characters meet and contemplate the future, with words of such clear-eyed stoicism and infinite sadness that they will pierce your heart. There are plenty of fan theories about what's going on here. I choose to interpret it based on what the program gives us - and it's both generous and heart-rending. We, and the characters, reflect on what we've witnessed - in this series and in our lives - and we are asked to find solace in the truth; that life brings change. Life is change. It brings both happiness and suffering, sometimes more of one than the other, and we are here living this life in the peaceful harmony between the two.
Has there ever been a BL drama that has conveyed a deeper, more universal truth that that?
Rating: 17 out of 20. Must see.
Ending: Total annihilation.
Best scene: it's impossible to choose, there's so much brilliance here. I will pick just two that have stayed with me the longest (which isn't quite the same thing):
(1) the paper plane scene
(2) the final ten minute epilogue
SPOILERS WARNING: This review goes into a lot of detail about the narrative of Grey Rainbow including some specific plot points and dialogue. It looks more closely at general themes, however there are some specific details about the epilogue. It does not give away important revelations about the climactic ending. Do not read this review if you don't want any clues at all about what the story entails.
Summary: Roommates Porsche and Nuer have been attending university in Chiang Mai for four years, and are best friends. Porsche thinks he might be gay but is overcome by self-loathing and tries to repress the idea. He nurses an intense unspoken love for the generous and kind-hearted Nuer but doesn't want to risk their friendship by confessing. He's deeply anxious about his upcoming separation from Nuer after graduation, as the boys would then return to their families in different parts of Thailand. He looks after Nuer as often as he can and tries to play a greater part in his life, most noticeably by joining him at muay thai practice. Nuer appears to be mostly oblivious to Porsche's efforts and is dating a fellow student Jane. The boys, however, eventually become inseparable and rely on each other for everything. Studies soon consume their lives. Porsche's thesis choice of LGBT law in Thailand is not for the reasons he ostensibly suggests, but to help him work through his own difficulties with accepting his sexuality. The boys also do what they can to help out Jane with her upcoming play "Madame Butterfly". When a horrific crime occurs, Nuer steps up and attends to Porsche through all the trauma. A visit to Jane's hometown Lampang ends in violence, bitter recriminations and accusations, forcing Nuer to confront and re-evaluate all his certainties. Porsche's total conviction about his love for Nuer leads him to quit his law studies after graduation - which angers his lawyer father to the point of apoplexy - and follow Nuer to his family home at an elephant camp in the country. The final stages of the drama are all set at the idyllic elephant camp with Nuer and his family, where the boys must face what they mean to each other and consider their future.
I cannot overstate how deeply affecting and moving this drama is. The narrative starts on a gentle slow-burn in the Chiang Mai university episodes, looking for all the world like any other typical BL drama. By the time we reach the cataclysmic Lampang scenes and move into episode three, it's as if we're in another show. There's a switch in perspective from Porsche to Nuer at a critical moment, and then to both of theirs at once for the rest of the series. Characterisations deepen. Themes from the Chiang Mai episodes are expanded and given considerably more pathos and weight. Plot points succeed with the sort of emotional payoff that other BL shows can only dream about. (Witness the almost unbearably romantic paper plane scene. Utterly magical and peerless. Also, the Mirror Game scene. The ruler scene. The scene in the field of yellow flowers. The list goes on and on. How can one series have so much beauty and romance?) The boys' hesitant self-doubt transforms into such certitude and a mature steadfastness of purpose that the other characters - and the audience - can only marvel at and respect them.
The unstoppable force propelling this change is Porsche's yearning love for Nuer. And oh, what yearning! It's so powerful and so present that it eclipses everything else going on around him. It's our constant companion through Grey Rainbow, and it only ever gets stronger. It's a commonplace BL trait, but there's seriously no other depiction of yearning in a BL drama that I've seen that comes anywhere close to matching Porsche's all-consuming desire for Nuer. It's the foundation of the drama and a joy to watch.
Next to all this romance and towering emotion in the latter half of the series, you'd expect just about everything else to fade into the background. And, to a certain extent, it does. All the events in the earlier episodes in Chiang Mai become more or less irrelevant. There's a subplot involving a reappearance by Jane that is very finely conceived, not least because it demonstrates Nuer's moral compass better than any exposition could. How Jane is dealt with towards the end of the series is far less satisfactory, though, and a huge plot hole. A legal stouch involving Porsche and a neighbour is pointless and unsuccessful, I'm not sure what the writers were aiming to achieve with it. There is, however, a number of hilarious scenes with Nuer's family's housekeeper Kamphun that are the funniest in the whole series. All the scenes with various family members, especially Nuer's parents, are very well managed and full of feeling - which is fortunate, because they make up the bulk of the third episode. The overt references to Thai LGBT rights lend the series some valuable political punch that reverberates beautifully through the final episodes. (Porsche's rebuke to a student asking if he is gay is extraordinary.) Certain scenes with monks giving advice to Nuer's family and to Porsche contribute some of the most humane writing of the entire series. Try not to burst into tears (as I did) when you hear a monk tell Nuer's parents, "Suffering. If you don't insist on carrying it, it will fall down right before you." It's extremely rare for a BL drama to have this level of realism and humanism.
Throughout all these events in the last two episodes, and most especially in the final fourth episode, the writers generally keep the tone understated, restrained and gentle - unlike me in this review, sigh. The boys evolve and gain confidence but they remain, on the whole, sensitive and respectful. Buddhist values and philosophy temper what could have ended up being a overwrought slanging match of parental heavy-handedness and filial rebelliousness (of which there's already just the right amount). The sense of how the boys have matured may be epic in scale, but watching them move forward into the future together gives more of a feeling of zen simplicity and moral plenitude. It's quite an achievement.
It's odd but I get a sense that there was more than one screenwriter working on this series - one of them is talented with a fine eye and ear for good romantic melodrama that tends towards the realistic and the epic, the other is a lazy hack with no interest beyond rehashing clichés and writing the offensively banal filler that's typical of BL.
There's a terrible infuriating scene where, at the worst possible moment, someone dresses up in drag. Even worse, they then go to a temple in drag. It's played to lighten the mood, but it's appallingly timed, and works against one of the characters when they make a very important announcement.
And then there's the ending itself.
Everything you have probably read by now about the ending of Grey Rainbow is true. It's abominable. It aims for complete destruction and as such it's utterly incomprehensible. I might eventually be able to forgive the writers for what occurs, but not when and how it occurs. Ever. I wouldn't recommend that you avoid it simply because it's that bad though. Some viewers suggest ignoring the fourth episode altogether and stopping at the end of episode three. Or instead watching one of the many alternate edits of the fourth episode available online. I can see why they say that, but I think you should still watch the full episode four and judge for yourself. The absolute best of the series is in episode four, despite it also having the worst; you simply can't miss it. Note my words carefully though! You have been warned.
HOWEVER!
If we weren't given the awful climactic ending, we wouldn't have had the very impressive final ten-minute epilogue of the series - which is intensely painful and extraordinarily beautiful all at once. The boys look at some photos of memorable life moments, frozen in time, and remark on how the people and emotions captured in the photos will never change, whereas life has carried everyone in them forward into a very different, altered present. On a mountainside scenic lookout, overlooking Chiang Mai enfolded in an otherworldly haze, a number of characters meet and contemplate the future, with words of such clear-eyed stoicism and infinite sadness that they will pierce your heart. There are plenty of fan theories about what's going on here. I choose to interpret it based on what the program gives us - and it's both generous and heart-rending. We, and the characters, reflect on what we've witnessed - in this series and in our lives - and we are asked to find solace in the truth; that life brings change. Life is change. It brings both happiness and suffering, sometimes more of one than the other, and we are here living this life in the peaceful harmony between the two.
Has there ever been a BL drama that has conveyed a deeper, more universal truth that that?
Rating: 17 out of 20. Must see.
Ending: Total annihilation.
Best scene: it's impossible to choose, there's so much brilliance here. I will pick just two that have stayed with me the longest (which isn't quite the same thing):
(1) the paper plane scene
(2) the final ten minute epilogue
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