Theory of Love
2019 Thai BL series Theory of Love (TOL) is regularly on lists as one of the best BL series of that year. So does it live up to the hype?
Summary: Four university seniors studying film and the cinematic arts live a pretty typical life - lots of fun, drinking, sex and a bit of work and study in between. Sensitive Third has a secret crush on his best friend Khai, a selfish womaniser with a total inability to treat people with respect. Third has kept his feelings to himself since freshman year, but Khai's insensitivity and steady stream of girlfriends finally convince Third he's a lost cause so he tries to distance himself and get over his feelings for Khai. But Khai's behaviour suddenly becomes very sweet and ambiguous. Is he trying to flirt with Third? If he is, why is he still dating girls? When an explosive revelation rips the gang apart, Khai's life is turned upside down.
On paper, TOL's story isn't anything we haven't seen many times before. "Secretly gay guy has a crush on his straight best friend. He doesn't want to risk his friendship, so he suffers in silence so that he can stay in his life." TOL takes all the paths you'd expect such a story to take. The most difficult aspect of the lead couple that's impossible overcome is that Khai is such a monumental arsehole. He's very popular on campus as a smooth talker who loves to date women voraciously. In reality, this is nothing but a slick, attractive image that hides one of worst personalities I've ever had the misfortune to come across in a BL series. He's inconsiderate, thoughtless, stupid (my God, so stupid), insensitive, selfish, vulgar, misogynistic and - perhaps worst of all - he has zero respect for anyone, including his friends. He treats everyone as a means to making himself feel good and having an easier life. As always in BL, it's impossible to treat such a character as a serious lead love interest. There are no redeeming qualities to his personality at all, so there's no clear reason why Third falls in love with him. His selfishness is so relentless and all-consuming that it brings Third nothing but suffering.
Third's small hope comes from his encouraging friend in-the-know Two - played by Love Sick veteran White with great heart and humour, it's easily his finest role. Two tells Third that Khai must be really unhappy deep down if he changes girls so often, and he must actually be looking for something more serious, stable and loving. Two convinces Third to move into Khai’s condo so that they can become closer. This terrible idea ends even worse than expected for Third, as Khai demonstrates close-up just how awful a person he truly is. Be prepared for a lot of scenes with Third crying in a quiet room alone with sad background music, after some unbearably cruel and thoughtless behaviour from Khai.
The story tries to remedy this imbalance between the two leads by giving Third some power in the latter stages of the series. But it never really works, as it just make Third look like another arsehole, surrounded by a world full of arseholes. I'm sure this isn't what the series wanted to achieve but this is what it unfortunately depicts most clearly - the truth that no one can escape becoming selfish and cruel, whether by upbringing or experience. This sobering, depressing reflection makes this series really difficult to tolerate at times.
But what really sets this series apart is that it's been made (at least partly) as a study of unrequited love. Every character in this series is subjected to it, and while the scenarios that the series provides don't really address the reality of what it means to be in such a one-sided relationship, they do force us to question ourselves closely and consider what we're seeing objectively. TOL's structure - half a series of Khai behaving badly, then another half of Third ignoring him - is a very carefully considered screenwriting decision that allows the audience to participate in the decisions its characters make. The series is split almost exactly down the middle, after there's a big confrontation between the four friends in episode 5 culminating in a shocking outburst of violence and venomous cruelty, and which places a severe strain on friendships. After following Third's thoughts and experience for the first six episodes, the narrative switches over to Khai's consciousness for the remainder of the series. It's an absolutely brilliant decision, and it lets us live the story through both of their eyes and feel their different perspectives pulse with life. We're scandalised, sad, angry and confused with them because we see the dilemmas they face and feel it keenly when they ignore each other's feelings, consciously or unconsciously. And it's not just Khai and Third's story. Two has by far the most interesting sub plot, as his tentative feelings for a former school friend, beautiful Lynn, morph into something much more serious (and interesting) when he's faced with a completely unexpected attraction. Fourth gang member Bone is instantly attracted to a beautiful woman Pan whom he meets at work in a coffee shop, but she seems oblivious to him and he pines painfully waiting for her to reappear.
As each of these different narrative strands progresses, you find yourself stopping and thinking about what's really going on here. (I LOVE it when this happens while you're watching a movie or series. It shows that the program is doing its job properly and keeping its audience involved and engaged, and possibly even thinking about parallels in our own lives.) What would you do if you were experiencing an unrequited love? Would you stick with it, or would you give it up and move on? Where do you draw the line? Would you risk a friendship for possible love? Would you retreat altogether if you felt you would lose the friendship and the love? Would you risk your sanity by not saying anything about how you feel? Is there such a thing as too much persistence? Do persistence and hope make you pathetic? Why do we always look for glimmers of hope and possibility when there are so many negatives that should, by all rights, put us off? Even worse, what if your love treats you badly or throws your love in your face? Why do we hold ourselves responsible for being stupid when someone we love treats us badly and we react poorly to their behaviour? Why do we sometimes become spiteful and angry in the face of the pointlessness of our love? How far do you tolerate lies and deceit from the person you love? Should you forgive someone who has deceived you? This series also speaks to the nature of love as well. Habit and familiarity can push us into boredom if we’re not careful. But it’s so difficult to contemplate that someone has grown bored of you, even if you’re the same person they fell in love with.
These are just some of the ideas about unrequited love - and love more generally - that TOL presents in its stories, and I'll always love it for that, because no other BL I've seen has ever been this thought-provoking.
There's plenty elsewhere in this series to like. All four of the leads do fantastic acting work, but it's Gun who is the most impressive. He does a really fine job with a demanding role that alternates between angry frustration, fatalistic passivity and chilly disdain. Any series that brings Earth Pirapat back to the screen is a winner in my book. There's no other actor quite like him, he brings so much magnetism and vulnerability to all his roles. I wish he had all the recognition he deserves. One of the series' best touches is the parallels it draws between famous movies and situations depicted on screen. For example, Third's online movie reviews, Third's 'Ten Things I Hate About You' list for Khai, and Bone and Pan bonding over French classic "A Man and A Woman". They're nicely done but they would have worked even better if they’d been more subtle about it. It makes sense in one way though, as not everyone will be familiar with the movies they are referencing.
There are some annoyances - straight guys turning gay, the treatment of women - and Khai's awful personality is extremely difficult to set aside, but I found myself much more willing to overlook them than I normally would because there's so much else of value going on.
Rating: 13 out of 20.
Ending: Unexpectedly good.
Best scene: This will sound weird, but there are two scenes in a public toilet at a bar that are so profoundly devastating for poor Third that they destroy his faith in Khai.
Summary: Four university seniors studying film and the cinematic arts live a pretty typical life - lots of fun, drinking, sex and a bit of work and study in between. Sensitive Third has a secret crush on his best friend Khai, a selfish womaniser with a total inability to treat people with respect. Third has kept his feelings to himself since freshman year, but Khai's insensitivity and steady stream of girlfriends finally convince Third he's a lost cause so he tries to distance himself and get over his feelings for Khai. But Khai's behaviour suddenly becomes very sweet and ambiguous. Is he trying to flirt with Third? If he is, why is he still dating girls? When an explosive revelation rips the gang apart, Khai's life is turned upside down.
On paper, TOL's story isn't anything we haven't seen many times before. "Secretly gay guy has a crush on his straight best friend. He doesn't want to risk his friendship, so he suffers in silence so that he can stay in his life." TOL takes all the paths you'd expect such a story to take. The most difficult aspect of the lead couple that's impossible overcome is that Khai is such a monumental arsehole. He's very popular on campus as a smooth talker who loves to date women voraciously. In reality, this is nothing but a slick, attractive image that hides one of worst personalities I've ever had the misfortune to come across in a BL series. He's inconsiderate, thoughtless, stupid (my God, so stupid), insensitive, selfish, vulgar, misogynistic and - perhaps worst of all - he has zero respect for anyone, including his friends. He treats everyone as a means to making himself feel good and having an easier life. As always in BL, it's impossible to treat such a character as a serious lead love interest. There are no redeeming qualities to his personality at all, so there's no clear reason why Third falls in love with him. His selfishness is so relentless and all-consuming that it brings Third nothing but suffering.
Third's small hope comes from his encouraging friend in-the-know Two - played by Love Sick veteran White with great heart and humour, it's easily his finest role. Two tells Third that Khai must be really unhappy deep down if he changes girls so often, and he must actually be looking for something more serious, stable and loving. Two convinces Third to move into Khai’s condo so that they can become closer. This terrible idea ends even worse than expected for Third, as Khai demonstrates close-up just how awful a person he truly is. Be prepared for a lot of scenes with Third crying in a quiet room alone with sad background music, after some unbearably cruel and thoughtless behaviour from Khai.
The story tries to remedy this imbalance between the two leads by giving Third some power in the latter stages of the series. But it never really works, as it just make Third look like another arsehole, surrounded by a world full of arseholes. I'm sure this isn't what the series wanted to achieve but this is what it unfortunately depicts most clearly - the truth that no one can escape becoming selfish and cruel, whether by upbringing or experience. This sobering, depressing reflection makes this series really difficult to tolerate at times.
But what really sets this series apart is that it's been made (at least partly) as a study of unrequited love. Every character in this series is subjected to it, and while the scenarios that the series provides don't really address the reality of what it means to be in such a one-sided relationship, they do force us to question ourselves closely and consider what we're seeing objectively. TOL's structure - half a series of Khai behaving badly, then another half of Third ignoring him - is a very carefully considered screenwriting decision that allows the audience to participate in the decisions its characters make. The series is split almost exactly down the middle, after there's a big confrontation between the four friends in episode 5 culminating in a shocking outburst of violence and venomous cruelty, and which places a severe strain on friendships. After following Third's thoughts and experience for the first six episodes, the narrative switches over to Khai's consciousness for the remainder of the series. It's an absolutely brilliant decision, and it lets us live the story through both of their eyes and feel their different perspectives pulse with life. We're scandalised, sad, angry and confused with them because we see the dilemmas they face and feel it keenly when they ignore each other's feelings, consciously or unconsciously. And it's not just Khai and Third's story. Two has by far the most interesting sub plot, as his tentative feelings for a former school friend, beautiful Lynn, morph into something much more serious (and interesting) when he's faced with a completely unexpected attraction. Fourth gang member Bone is instantly attracted to a beautiful woman Pan whom he meets at work in a coffee shop, but she seems oblivious to him and he pines painfully waiting for her to reappear.
As each of these different narrative strands progresses, you find yourself stopping and thinking about what's really going on here. (I LOVE it when this happens while you're watching a movie or series. It shows that the program is doing its job properly and keeping its audience involved and engaged, and possibly even thinking about parallels in our own lives.) What would you do if you were experiencing an unrequited love? Would you stick with it, or would you give it up and move on? Where do you draw the line? Would you risk a friendship for possible love? Would you retreat altogether if you felt you would lose the friendship and the love? Would you risk your sanity by not saying anything about how you feel? Is there such a thing as too much persistence? Do persistence and hope make you pathetic? Why do we always look for glimmers of hope and possibility when there are so many negatives that should, by all rights, put us off? Even worse, what if your love treats you badly or throws your love in your face? Why do we hold ourselves responsible for being stupid when someone we love treats us badly and we react poorly to their behaviour? Why do we sometimes become spiteful and angry in the face of the pointlessness of our love? How far do you tolerate lies and deceit from the person you love? Should you forgive someone who has deceived you? This series also speaks to the nature of love as well. Habit and familiarity can push us into boredom if we’re not careful. But it’s so difficult to contemplate that someone has grown bored of you, even if you’re the same person they fell in love with.
These are just some of the ideas about unrequited love - and love more generally - that TOL presents in its stories, and I'll always love it for that, because no other BL I've seen has ever been this thought-provoking.
There's plenty elsewhere in this series to like. All four of the leads do fantastic acting work, but it's Gun who is the most impressive. He does a really fine job with a demanding role that alternates between angry frustration, fatalistic passivity and chilly disdain. Any series that brings Earth Pirapat back to the screen is a winner in my book. There's no other actor quite like him, he brings so much magnetism and vulnerability to all his roles. I wish he had all the recognition he deserves. One of the series' best touches is the parallels it draws between famous movies and situations depicted on screen. For example, Third's online movie reviews, Third's 'Ten Things I Hate About You' list for Khai, and Bone and Pan bonding over French classic "A Man and A Woman". They're nicely done but they would have worked even better if they’d been more subtle about it. It makes sense in one way though, as not everyone will be familiar with the movies they are referencing.
There are some annoyances - straight guys turning gay, the treatment of women - and Khai's awful personality is extremely difficult to set aside, but I found myself much more willing to overlook them than I normally would because there's so much else of value going on.
Rating: 13 out of 20.
Ending: Unexpectedly good.
Best scene: This will sound weird, but there are two scenes in a public toilet at a bar that are so profoundly devastating for poor Third that they destroy his faith in Khai.
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